Friday, March 07, 2008

so, this guy is washing his hands...stop me if you've heard this one.

For those of you that travel a lot, particularly through airports, this will make more sense. In fact, you’ll probably remember the mindless waving and water sounds. I’ve become so accustomed to those sinks with motion sensors that I regularly find myself looking a complete ass in both foreign and domestic bathrooms. The first act is always the waving of hands as if you’re vogue-ing in a Madonna video before realizing the sink has actual hot and cold handles. (Don’t get carried away and lump this hand dance move in with the jackassery involved when you have the sensors that simply work for crap and refuse to dispense with the elixir of washing – we all hate those and are forgiven for cussing them.) Hopefully there aren’t many senators around the john as you wave furiously and mumble under your breath at the damned spigot. All you're thinking is that you must have tripped the gatekeeper of the water. What you do next, in frustration and as a clear indictment of a bad sensor is this: you move over one sink and start the waving of fins anew. Nothing. Now you’re in dangerously embarrassing territory, especially if there is someone who started at the other end of the sinks and is slowly moving and waving toward the middle sinks where the two of you will end up in some sort of fission of irritated handwashers; be careful. Stop what you’re doing, use your eyes, and look around the sink. Are the things that appear as levers or knobs? If you spy them then simply turn them on and enjoy the fun. Pretty easy, right? The problem is that I’m too stupid to remember over a period of ten seconds and I’ll undoubtedly wake away from the sink, water running, and begin to dry my hands. I’ll be halfway home to the door when I realize I’ve left the water running. What I’ll process are questions like these. “Why is the water still running? My hands aren’t near the sensor, are they?”

The house is sans children this weekend since G. headed to Omaha last night. What crosses my mind first when this happens, at least that which I can publish, is this: when our Saturday afternoon cleaning is done the place will stay neatish until at least Sunday night. Dreams.

Last week Christopher Hitchens pointed out what I think is the main difference between the Democratic candidates. He said that he while watching Obama grow and get stronger over the last year or so he (Hitchens) has seen the potential for a further potential that is magnificent. The potential for Clinton ’s growth is nil. Under the wrong light that might seem harsh but it really is the essence of the question. Both are strong candidates, both have basically the same amount of experience*, and there’s little to separate them on many issues. I think youth and potential is a much better cocktail.

* I’m stealing from Chris Rock but I’ll give you something he relayed about experience and Hillary’s claim of her years in the White House as such. His parallel was that if his wife came to him and said she’d decided to do stand-up comedy in clubs across America then he’d know she was crazy. They’ve been together for years and she no doubt knows all his jokes, set-ups, opinions, and expressions to set the hook…but, as he says, she ain’t fucking funny. Think about that. Just saying.

p.s. Here's Madge.

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