i was spinning 'round a dead dial

I’m constantly amazed at how much I enjoy listening to radio shows. No, not “The Big Party” morning show blasting out of Omaha on 94.1 FM. Listening to Prairie Home Companion or This American Life when driving home from work stills puts me in a solid state of mind. Give me some David Sedaris with a story and I’m doing just fine. There is a local show in D.C., The Big Broadcast, which is four hours of old radio serials and which seems to align the shows with my drive so that I always get replays of “Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar”on the way home. I’ve become quite fond of Johnny Dollar, but am still amazed that the idea for a show about an insurance investigator on the road solving ‘crime’ actually came to fruition. The tagline….”"the transcribed adventures of the man with the action-packed expense account — America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator,” is priceless. Action-packed expense account? Sweet. Of note, it’ll be pretty sad when Car Talk wraps up next year – what I know about cars, and that’s precious little, I learned from that show. Sort of like what I know about religion I learned from Dogma.

eh, pay

As I was driving home yesterday I ended up at a light behind a car with this personalized plate:

ISITART

For some reason I felt the need to break it up and interpret it multiple ways:

IS IT ART
I SIT ART
IS I TART

That last one being an homage to Ali G.’s “Is you the fox?” (You either know your Ali G. or you don’t.)

Later on, in the same series of events, while driving home after picking up the kids at the Metro I asked them how school went, to which H. replied, “I did good today.” I, of course, said that it should really be “did well,” and he parried with, “no, did good.” It was pretty funny up to that point but got better when L. piped up, in the flow, with, “Did good? Like Superman?” Funny stuff, that.

I read Kitchen Confidential about ten years ago (?) when it first came out we were living in England. That was also about the same time I started to get more serious about cooking. I haven’t watched more than 20 or 30 minutes of Bourdain on TV in all these years but I’ve followed along a bit with his celebrity and career. Confidential was a really cool book that I feel should have been (and still should be, based on the lack of ‘go’ I see in some of my classmates) required reading for anyone considering the career. I bring this up because there’s a great interview with him at Slate.com today; an interview that covers a lot of ground and should also be required reading for everyone – maybe for some life guidance and cooking doctrine. Along with that, it’s an interview that reads very well in text format and that’s pretty rare. (The intro to the interview is also timely since I just baked a strawberry-rhubarb pie last weekend. For the record, I like it.)

I have little idea what’s on tap for the weekend.

warn, fate, eat

So, I’m sitting at my nemesis light this morning, first in line to turn right from lane 2, and I hear screaming sirens and see the flashing lights of an ambulance crossing from right-to-left in front of us. The left turn arrow kicks on at about this point and the guy in that turning lane hits the gas and off he goes. For some reason, I honk my horn at him hoping to get his attention so he’ll stop and not get t-boned by an emergency vehicle. I immediately realized that if mindless driver guy doesn’t hear – or respect – the sirens then my horn is useless. I consider it a self-critiquing moment.

I nabbed my gal last night and took her to see Mariza at Lisner Auditorium in D.C. Mariza is one of the leading lights in the Fado world and she put on a lovely show. You know you’re enjoying it when you go through a 1:45-minute set and don’t understand a word (aside from her lovely version of Smile toward the end). As you’d expect from someone of her caliber, she had a fantastic band with her (Portuguese guitar player*, acoustic guitar, acoustic bass, percussionist, and sometime keyboard/trumpet player). The stage set, with everyone but her seated in a broad semi-circle, grew on me as the show moved along – the players all get a bit insider joke-y as the show went on and were clearly enjoying themselves. The percussionist and Portuguese guitar player, in particular, stood out for me. Mariza was engaging throughout with the between-song dialogue beautifully weaved in when needed. One of the last songs they performed – just her, and the two guitarists, sans amplification – was brilliant. She introduced it as a taste of how she (and they, no doubt) started out playing in tavernas of Lisboa. We were in the fourth row so close enough to fully enjoy the singing and playing. I should be able to give her voice a full review but my skills in that area are questionable. She sounded brilliant to my amateur ears and I guess that’s good enough.

I’m not sure what to make of this – I don’t want to influence folks too much – but, not only is the ‘happening’ perfectly normal in the world but the comments are priceless. Should I be worried that I don’t see death as such a problem that I can laugh at comments? I certainly would have stayed to watch the outcome. I guess there’s some warning required but it’s not gruesome or bloody.

T

* both the guitar, a Portuguese guitar, and the player, a Portuguese player, apply here.

from here to there

I'll end September with an endorsement of my TomTom portable GPS. We ended up going from Ft. Myer to X's work this afternoon after a doctor's appointment and she swung us around a beautiful route into downtown D.C. From there I asked her the best way home to which she asked if I'd rather take a bit longer, geographically, route but save four minutes of travel time due to traffic avoidance. Hell yes, I typed with my pointy finger. I had my doubts but I ended up getting routed for a short run on the GW Parkway, a dump into Arlington, and then onto I-66. Simply perfect. That whole satellite, live traffic, and eleventy-billion maps and routes is sweet. I won't doubt her anymore. Of course, I was going to change the voice to Raul (Spanish) but H. told me that wasn't such a great idea. I think X is also duly impressed. If you've ever spent any time in the NoVa / D.C. area then you know the roads, signage, and travel can be an absolute nightmare - if she can make it here, she can make it anywhere.

The weather has turned to my favorite: cool for here autumn. Suppose to get down into the mid-40s tonight and our highs have struggled to get near 70 all week. Perfect.

Maybe I'll have more come October.

drivin' and cryin'

I'm not sure why Andrew Sullivan decided to have a quick debate on bike helmets but I can't help throwing my penny into the jar. I don't have stats at hand - if they even exist - but the helmet isn't necessarily on your headmeat in order to save your life when pummeled by a car that weighs 2,500 pounds. If it works in that situation then consider yourself lucky. The reason you wear a helmet, and it's efficacy, is for when you fall off your bike and hit the pavement; via a rut, a curb, another bike, a tree branch. What the helmet does it keep your head from whacking the pavement, or curb, and scrambling your brain. Think about it this way, if you have your wrist guards on while riding your Schwinn Sting-Ray to the skate park to pull some some googly-footed double ollies and you get run over by a car, those wrist guards aren't much good. On the other hand, if you're whipping a 1080 after you've smoked a sick sash of weed and you smack the edge of the half-pipe and tumble down on your wrists, those guards will do you some good. Car. Fall. Car. Fall. Lesson over.

Speaking of cars. I'm just about at the point where I'm going to quit driving. I don't think I'm a crazy old man, I think I'm a pretty good driver - not perfect, but I can't deal with the idiots that are out and about. Here are are my three golden rules of driving: stay in your lane when turning, use your indicator any time you change direction, slow down in parking lots and if you see reverse lights then slow down even further. I'm not a fan of the "he's backing out and he should be more careful" argument. That's just great when we are both sitting in a parking lot because there's been a collision - that's worth it, isn't it? In most parking lots I can't see around the SUVs and if I'm slowly pulling out of my space and you see my car - stop. (No, I haven't had an accident of late, it's just an ongoing rant.) As for the indicator, it comes from the Greek term "indicate" which means: hey, dumb ass, indicate your intention and I'll do my best to not only not hit you, but possibly accommodate your lane change. It's not so hard. The grand point is this: I'm getting so stressed out by trying to avoid tomfoolery that it's just killing me. I think I'll ride the bus, ride my bike, or have X drive everywhere.

If you didn't know, I no longer have any adolescent progeny - L.'s 13 today so it's nothing but teenagers and up for me.

love to all

t

consider your license suspended

So, here’s my daily issue – eventually, it had to come to this. When I drive to work I go through this intersection every morning (pardon my crap drawing, I did my best). I’m traveling in the lanes at the bottom of the picture and moving from right-to-left toward the #1, #2, and #3 lanes from where I’ll turn right: #1 and #2 are both right-hand turn lanes and labeled as such on the road. Also, when you’re sitting at the light there are signs above the signal that indicate that lane #1 is right-turn only (available on red), and #2 is either straight or right turn (no right on red, just so all the drivers know). The issue here is what happens through the turn? Or, more pointedly, what the hell should happen through the turn? Everyone, and I mean everyone, that is turning right onto this three-lane road that disappears to the right of the picture knows that the #1 lane ends pretty quickly and will push you onto I-495 (the Beltway). What they're doing in the #1 lane is using the available red light to turn right when there’s an opening in oncoming traffic; the light here is very long and they are in a business casual sort of hurry. That’s fair enough, I’m cool. Unfortunately, once the right turn signal comes up for both lanes #1 and #2 we’re now ensconced in the full double right-hand turn lanes. I’ll tell you right now that I’m always in lane #2 awaiting to turn right because I need to go straight through in lane #2 and I don’t want to get pushed onto the Beltway. I also have no need for #3 - as if some dumbass would be turning from #2 and ending up in #3 – if that’s you, you’re a problem; also, #2 let’s me eventually merge into a new #1 begins shortly after that first one ends. So, here’s the damn problem: every time I turn from #2 and stay in #2 I have some jackass from #1 who really wants to go straight ahead and is just fucking rolling into my car in lane #2 as if he owns the road; my turning parallel to him and staying in MY lane is apparently some sort of issue. I always end up giving said jackass a honk and he inevitably waves angrily at me for actually staying in my lane. Not one time have I ever had a #1 turner stay in #1 through his turn and then signal to slide over to #2…never. Am I crazy? Seriously. For those that are contemplating disagreeing with my tirade, I’ll ask you two questions: first, if this were a double right-hand turn onto a five-lane road, does the asshole in #1 get the first two lanes? The first three or four lanes? Second, If he can move from #1 to #2 during his turn, why can’t I just badass move from #2 to #1 through my turn and wave my fist at all the jerks in lane #1? Don’t you always remain in your lane through a turn…even if this were a single right-hand turn lane? The point is, is you’re turning on red from #1, while cars are coming at you in #2 and #3 from the left, you’ll stay in #1 to avoid getting t-boned. Doesn’t this all come down to the basic rule of not changing lanes in an intersection? I defy you to think about it and come up with any reason why you’d be changing lanes in an interaction, turning or not. I'm not saying you don't do it, I merely stating the obvious that you are wrong.

Damn it.