consider your license suspended

So, here’s my daily issue – eventually, it had to come to this. When I drive to work I go through this intersection every morning (pardon my crap drawing, I did my best). I’m traveling in the lanes at the bottom of the picture and moving from right-to-left toward the #1, #2, and #3 lanes from where I’ll turn right: #1 and #2 are both right-hand turn lanes and labeled as such on the road. Also, when you’re sitting at the light there are signs above the signal that indicate that lane #1 is right-turn only (available on red), and #2 is either straight or right turn (no right on red, just so all the drivers know). The issue here is what happens through the turn? Or, more pointedly, what the hell should happen through the turn? Everyone, and I mean everyone, that is turning right onto this three-lane road that disappears to the right of the picture knows that the #1 lane ends pretty quickly and will push you onto I-495 (the Beltway). What they're doing in the #1 lane is using the available red light to turn right when there’s an opening in oncoming traffic; the light here is very long and they are in a business casual sort of hurry. That’s fair enough, I’m cool. Unfortunately, once the right turn signal comes up for both lanes #1 and #2 we’re now ensconced in the full double right-hand turn lanes. I’ll tell you right now that I’m always in lane #2 awaiting to turn right because I need to go straight through in lane #2 and I don’t want to get pushed onto the Beltway. I also have no need for #3 - as if some dumbass would be turning from #2 and ending up in #3 – if that’s you, you’re a problem; also, #2 let’s me eventually merge into a new #1 begins shortly after that first one ends. So, here’s the damn problem: every time I turn from #2 and stay in #2 I have some jackass from #1 who really wants to go straight ahead and is just fucking rolling into my car in lane #2 as if he owns the road; my turning parallel to him and staying in MY lane is apparently some sort of issue. I always end up giving said jackass a honk and he inevitably waves angrily at me for actually staying in my lane. Not one time have I ever had a #1 turner stay in #1 through his turn and then signal to slide over to #2…never. Am I crazy? Seriously. For those that are contemplating disagreeing with my tirade, I’ll ask you two questions: first, if this were a double right-hand turn onto a five-lane road, does the asshole in #1 get the first two lanes? The first three or four lanes? Second, If he can move from #1 to #2 during his turn, why can’t I just badass move from #2 to #1 through my turn and wave my fist at all the jerks in lane #1? Don’t you always remain in your lane through a turn…even if this were a single right-hand turn lane? The point is, is you’re turning on red from #1, while cars are coming at you in #2 and #3 from the left, you’ll stay in #1 to avoid getting t-boned. Doesn’t this all come down to the basic rule of not changing lanes in an intersection? I defy you to think about it and come up with any reason why you’d be changing lanes in an interaction, turning or not. I'm not saying you don't do it, I merely stating the obvious that you are wrong.

Damn it.