love and peace....guaranteed

What I wanted to say earlier, or at least link to, was a bit in the movie Tommy Boy where Chris Farley's character goes on about guarantees. He's trying to sell his company's brake pads to a wholesaler and the scene goes like this (I couldn't find it on YouTube):

Farley: Our brake pads are the best, you know that...never failed.
Customer: But they don't come with a guarantee - a guarantee written on the box.
Farley: You know, I could put a piece of shit in a box and write "Guaranteed" on it if that that'll make you feel better.
Customer: (confused look)
Farley: You know whatcha got? A guaranteed piece of shit.

This scene carried over from my earlier entry on alternative music; I can call it whatever I want, hell, I can even WRITE it on the box, or say it over the airwaves. You know what you got?

What brought it up again this afternoon was a sign at a garage down in Clarendon. It says "guaranteed used tires" in big, bold letters. Of course, I rolled that little nugget around in my head for three or four blocks.

Me: Will you guarantee me that these are, in fact, used tires?
They: Yes sir. Worn and all.
Me: Good. I don't want no damn new tires.

I think the edited motto should be, "Used tires. Guaranteed."

Maybe I'm just simple.

Love to all.

T