Wednesday, July 16, 2008

stop me if you've thought this

What I’ve realized during my time in the private sector is that there are an endless number of ‘jobs’ posted for people we’ll call program managers and project managers. I hate program managers and project managers. Here’s a wikipedia definition of project manager: “… the discipline of planning, organizing, and managing resources to bring about the successful completion of specific project goals and objectives. A project is a finite endeavor—having specific start and completion dates—undertaken to create a unique product or service which brings about beneficial change or added value.” Right. Making dinner every night qualifies as project management. Making dinner every night over the course of an entire week probably qualifies as program management (the managing of separate projects under one overarching theme). I guess if you add in some packed lunches and a few quick breakfasts than you could claim yourself some type of certification by ISO, Six Sigma, or any other fruit-loop organization. Aren’t these PMs, as they’re called, actually just workers and managers? Do we really need new on-line and resident educational programs to ‘qualify’ people as such? Here are a few other areas I might consider as PMs per your resume:

1. Making sure the dog gets walked twice a day.
2. Establishing and maintaining an exercise routine.
3. Creating a kick-ass compilation CD for your friends.
4. Planning the purchase of the new G3 iPhone.
5. Budgeting your money so you can buy Madonna tour tickets.
6. Printing labels and applying them to index cards for Bar study.
7. Planning for the cab home after hanging with friends at the local bar.
8. Making vacation plans.
9. Setting the alarm to wake you up.
10. Putting out the recycling.

You get the picture.

Project Manager, the Paddle.

p.s. I’m changing the verbiage on my resume ---- big money PM!

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