Wednesday, July 23, 2008

magnum, tubbs...get over here

I rode the Metro up to NW D.C. today to pick L. up at her digital movie/claymation camp at Sidwell. The way it works up there is that the parents, call them SUVs or Mercs if you will, pull into the double-through lane of the parking garage, give their kids’ name to the clipboard counselor kids, and your little one’s name is called across the school square by another counselor kid sporting a bullhorn. As I’m awaiting my arrival in the quad I hear this given name over the ‘horn: Infinity. Infinity? There are few problems with young Infinity: first, I hope he/she is an only child. Second, that’s one tough name to live up to as a being. As for the first, if other kids come along, you better not be naming them Gus, Doug, and Lily (not that I don’t like Lily). What I am certain about is that Doug, Gus, and Lily will have some type of mortality complex after traipsing through life behind goddamn Infinity. What the parents need to keep in the name bank are these noms de tiempo for the next siblings: Forever, Eternity, Pi, and my favorite – Infinity plus 1. Nothing solves a kid argument like the Infinity plus 1 riposte.

(I just realized that the kid's name might be Infiniti. In that case, we need the siblings to be Lexus, Eldorado, Portia, and XJS; nothing surprises me.)

I’ve been running mock drafts for fantasy football. Am I weird?

The Cubs are struggling and I prefer not to talk about it.


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