george bush

On Saturday night two of the kids were downstairs at the table playing cards. I imagine that most of us have watched the professional poker tour on TV. Most of us have played Spades or Hearts (or Heartless), possibly there are some who love Cribbage (or CribGolf); each one of those games can drive someone to talk a little bit of smack. It's probably not beyond the pale that when bridge players get together you might hear:

Warren Buffett: "Gates, what the heck was that bid?"
Bill Gates: "Back off man, I was bidding !"
Omar Sharif: "Are you ladies about done bickering? Do your husbands also play?"

I used to play Pinochle when we were deployed. We'd bust out cards after Buzz had cut everyone's hair and then played the saw; Blade had stopped telling us stories, and the handheld Yahtzee game was in use somewhere else (trust me, the first months at Al Udeid were rough). I couldn't quite come up with any Pinochle table talk aside from, "There's an easy way to remember the Jack of diamonds, Queen of spades marriage." How? (Speaking slowly) "Just remember Jack of diamonds, Queen of Spades."

Where was I going? Right, kids and cards. There is one game that simply has no belittling commentary available: War. You might not know that based on the table banging and verbal jousting that continued for any number of hours during the battle.

"Watch this, baby! Boo-yah, Jack!"

"This one is for real . Bang!"

"Did you cut the little balls off the back of your socks before coming here?"

"You call that game?"

"See that? Right there! Ace, baby!"

I'm not sure that trash talking through a game of chance is legal. I guess dudes rolling bones in Vegas at the Craps table do it, right? As if someone can get 'hot'...

Bang! War! Five of clubs beatdown!