princes and the challenged

 Prince’s career kicked off in earnest about the same time I entered high school. It was in full flight by my senior year and throughout my freshman year in college. He’s sold somewhere between 60 and 100 million records, changed his name, done a gazillion tours, made legendary videos, and generally been the coolest cat on the planet. I’ve followed him through the years even if I haven’t bought any of his records – though I did totally ace his discussion about the internet being dead a few years ago and built it into my own ideas of the online world and death of social activity. That’s a discussion for another day. This is about a return in 2012 of the man: a new song (online even!), wonders about a new record, and the still way too cool bass lines and voice that define him. I’m amazed that after 30 years there has never been another artist that can produce this kind of music. Pretenders to the throne – I could listen to this all day.

My dearest Lindsey, Saxby, John, and Peter,

     I’d like to take a little time to address the grand and heroic gesture you believe you are making in possibly deciding to act against the wishes of Grover Norquist. To make something very clear up front: I don’t give a shit whether you do or not; your wisdom, and self-important sacrifice, is not needed. The country move forward and you’ll forever find yourselves on the wrong side of history, as usual.

     Here’s how compromise works: I give something, you give me something. Simple, right? I was going to type out the OED definition of compromise, but I don’t have the patience. You can look it up, let me help, c-o-m-p…. If I start at position A on the alphabetical compromise scale, and you start at Z (both acceptable starting points), then compromise means meeting at ANY point in the middle. I may come all the way to Y in order to remedy a problem, but if you insist on sitting on Z at all costs then you are a fuckstick. You can claim that it’s some sort of integrity when, in fact, it exposes you for what you are: a petulant child. Do you really believe that if someone is willing to move further towards your desired outcome it means nothing? In the scenario that considers the US Government budgets, deficits, and debt think about this idea: the solution to our current problems lie somewhere between less spending and more revenue. Somewhere. Anywhere. Let’s say I’m a tax-and-spend Liberal and you’re a Crayola-using-contract-promising-going-to-love-you-forever,-Grover-is-the-best dipshit Conservative: how’s about I start at A, you start at Z, and we work from there? Oh, did calling you a dipshit hurt your feelings? Sorry. What if I came over U, V, W, X, or Y? Any interest? Didn’t think so. Feel free to read the first few sentences of this paragraph again. It might be best, in the end, to take your box of crayons, your third-grade math polling numbers, and go color in the corner. Let me know when you’ve learned to draw hands with all five digits.

      Graham, Chambliss, King, and McCain believe in their hearts that if they try to unfuck something that they fucked up to start with then they must be heroes. They aren’t. I will give them this: they are at least the first of their kind to recognize the writing on the wall and they are hoping to save their own skins.

      And, in case you wonder where I stand, I’ll tell you. My first offer would be to make up 50% of the shortall with spending reductions; and, 50% with revenue increases. I, unlike these four that I can only consider as wedges, might even further discuss the numbers and compromise.

     Good riddance, jackasses, your days are numbered.

Best,

Todd

just a bunch of pussies

I was shopping yesterday and noted a woman studying the ingredients on a loaf of WonderBread; there’s no need for that kind of behavior. You will read exactly zero on the WonderBread bag that will entice you buy the product.

Okay, let’s talk cats. There was a study a few weeks ago that outlined (via mounted cat-cams) how many small animals and birds cats generally kill. There’s some follow-on talk about it at Andrew Sullivan today.  (The video is pretty creepy so watch at your own risk, you don’t need it to understand the questions I have.) Is there some environmental issue with the number of birds and bunnies that cats kill every year? I’m not being cheeky, I honestly want to know – even as a somewhat environmental liberal you’d have to show me some serious facts. I’m sure Lemon kills two or three living creatures every single day – she’s like that. Do I care? No. I do wonder about a few comments in the post: first, what is an “outdoor cat apologist” exactly? My generally pet- having rule is that I don’t want any pet that is locked in a house or cage-like venue, ever. I’m much more likely to hassle people who keep their cats locked up as if they are living on the Serengeti and they fear the dingoes (I have no idea if there are dingoes on the Serengeti…). Second, what does “Still, the bird death toll could be even more seriously reduced if people stopped letting their cats roam about unsupervised,” mean? Does this person think there are cat parks out there? Or that anyone can actually supervise their roaming cat? “Hey, Henry, get your cat supervision kit on. I need you to follow Pumpkin around this afternoon for four hour and make sure he isn’t doing any, well, cat stuff.” Lastly, anyone whose advice – or solution to this massive dead bird ‘problem’ – is to keep cats locked up in a house is a moron.

“…We found that house cats will kill a wide variety of animals, including: lizards, voles, chipmunks, birds, frogs, and small snakes.” Yep. Yep. Yep. And Yep. What is a vole?

Okay, I read some of the study outline/presser and the implication is that “one in three American bird species are in decline,” because of cats. I’d like to see some more data on that fact. The University of Nebraska punditry added that feral cats were responsible for the “extinction of 33 bird species worldwide.”  Once again, there are no other factors involved in declining/extinct bird population aside from my cats? I’m not buying it.

not a dream, just losing sleep

I was younger and probably slightly more impressionable back in 1992 when the Dream Team ran rampant at the Barcelona games. We are happening upon this entry because through my Spurs enjoyment I’m also subjected to commercials touting a lame, 20-year anniversary/celebration documentary of the Dream Team. I need to get a few things out the way before I rant: the serendipity of having Jordan, Bird, and Magic playing in the same NBA era was fortuitous. Without those three, who are undoubtedly three of the most strong willed and talent players ever to grace the NBA, the whole experiment wouldn’t have been quite so ‘amazing’. Since 1992, we’ve seen U.S. team after U.S team struggle as the world has gotten better and the vast NBA talent pool of the mid-1980s to mid-1990s has disappeared. There certainly were some greats around those three, but honestly, we could have thrown in Shaq (a rookie), Larry Johnson, Dennis Rodman, and/or Reggie Miller and been just fine. Aside from the big three the only NBA title(s) on the roster came from Pippen (playing with Jordon, whether you like it or not); one from Drexler later in his career, post Olympics – courtesy of Hakeem; and David Robinson with two, also post-Olympics. I count that as three: MJ, Magic, and Bird finished with 14. That’s my introduction.

Here’s the hammer : the Dream Team wasn’t that impressive. If we took the best NFL players right now, a 2012 all-pro team, and trotted them out there for a new Olympic football competition they’d destroy everyone else. We could throw the Lions out there and destroy anyone else. In fact, in 1992 the Chicago Bulls would have annihilated the Olympic field. When the most dominant professional league is hosted in the U.S. – and in 1992 it was a hundred times more talented than the next – putting an all-star team on the court vs. Venezuela isn’t really impressive. Wow! They won by 47! None of it was really impressive back then, and it’s less impressive now. We used to hate the Soviet team that won the hockey gold every Olympics because they were simply a professional team rolled out every four years to destroy everyone else. What happened in the 1980 Olympics, within an athletic competition framework, was far, far more impressive than the Dream Team. If you aren’t old enough to remember the entirety of the situation, bear in the mind the gnashing of teeth between those players, their “professional” sponsors, and the uniform. All of the Nike-owned players covered the Reebok logo on their uniforms during the medal presentation ceremony – left shoulder with a flag. They couldn’t even be bothered to simply let that go. Maybe it’s an unfair critique, but it simply added fuel to my fire because the 60- and 79-point wins over Panama and Cuba weren’t distasteful enough. I certainly don’t need to sit around and watch a documentary full of these players talking about how “there’ll never be anything like this again.” Yes, Larry there will be – when the US fields a rugby team against the All Blacks Dream Team in some Olympic games.  Also remember that all of this came about after the U.S. only won the bronze medal in 1988 – a team that was 5-0 in pool play (with a winning margin that averaged  35 per game) but lost by six point in the semi-finals. We might call this dream thing a bit of an overreaction.

The last thing I want to sit through are a bunch of Dream Teamers and journalists harkening back to the day when the USA was number 1 – in a field of amateurs.

That’s all. At least I can watch the Spurs again tonight.

bad form

It was a mixed bag at Quiz Night: Our overall score wasn’t as strong as we’d like but we had fun and won a prize round when we aced all ten answers to “Famous People and Their Famous Mothers”. That’s a pretty embarrassing category to dominate considering we later answered “22” when asked how many claws a cat has. How a human (or group of humans) could talk themselves into 22 claws on four paws is completely beyond me. Are there any animals/mammals/walkie things that have more than five claws/toes on this earth? 22? “Yeah, great answer!” We were like really bad Family Feud contestants.

My school has a never-ending run of administration issues. The one that most affects me is the quarterly certification sent to the VA in order to keep my flow of money in place. What they were allegedly doing up until now was submitting our paperwork at the end of the third week every quarter (after the add/drop date). Depending on the break between quarters, this caused serious issues if you didn’t see a check for 50+ days. Of course, what they don’t understand is that if the government gives you too much money (or if you drop a class) they’d get their money back, one way or t’other. They had at least three or four critical points of failure in this certification chain with the most common being inept people. Late last week they sent out an e-mail introducing all the VA / GI Bill students to a great new process that will ensure there’s no gap in payment or certification. My first thought was: How nice. My second? They’ll fuck this up. The outcome from my first response didn’t come true; from my second? Well, here’s the story.

In order to expedite the process we will be delivering the required paperwork for the next quarter to the Registrar by the end of the current quarter. (We got the e-mail last Friday and the quarter officially ends this Friday.) Great, methinks, I have class on Saturday so I’ll just print out this “certification form”, fill it out, stop by the student financial aid section (required by the notice) and pick-up my financial plan (what was outlined) and have them sign, and then drop it off at the registrar – task done. Man, that was easy! Unfortunately, the registrar isn’t open on Saturday so I was left with two forms in hand and plan to call on Monday to see if I could e-mail my scanned (.pdf) forms or fax them the paperwork. What follows is a rudimentary transcript of the 9am phone call on Monday morning (the registrar being open at 7:45am):

Me: [dial and ringing].

Them: Hello? Doc.

Me: Is this the Registrar’s office?

Doc (apparently): Yes, why?

Me: Doc, how about you answer the phone with something akin to “AiW Registar, how may I help you?”

Doc: Oh. This isn’t my phone.

Me: I guess that’s a good excuse then.

Doc: I can help you with anything. What do you need?

Me: I have a GI Bill certification form and my student financial plan that needs to be delivered to your office. Since I’m in class at night I was wondering if I can either e-mail a .pdf file with the signed forms, or send them via fax.

Doc: Wait. What do you need?

(Writer’s embellishment: “Hey, wedge, what is your problem? Trust me when I say that my phone skills are impeccable. I speak slowly, I listen to you, I describe what you need, and you’ve got nothing to say but ‘Oops, I was lost after my last breath. I’m a dumbass.’”)

Me: I need to send some VA forms to your office.

Doc: That would be Vanessa who would help you.

Me: Okay. Great. Can I fax them down there for her or can I send them via e-mail?

Doc: See doesn’t come in until 10am.

Me: So? Why do I care about that? Do you have a fax? Can I e-mail them? Does your office accept forms via those methods?

Doc: Well, she handles all of that.

Me: Great. Can you give me her e-mail address?

Doc: Didn’t she send you an e-mail.

Me: Yes, she did. But I’m asking for her e-mail address because I don’t have it here.

Doc: It should be in the e-mail she sent.

Me: What is Vanessa’s e-mail address?

That went swimmingly. I typed Vanessa’s hard-won e-mail address into my correspondence and attached both required documents along with a brief background while making reference to her widely distributed, and well considered, e-mail. What I get back about an hour later is an e-mail from Vanessa letting me know that the included certification form was actually just a sample and not the actual letter that will be signed. Those letters are in her office. Second, the Financial Services section gave me the wrong data sheet and that I’ll need to stop back down there and get a different fuckity-fuckity form. See how this works? My response is a bit curt and includes three questions and a small diatribe: I have to come down to your office to pick up another form, go down to financial services and tell them I need a fuckity-fuckity form, and then walk back to your office with paper in hand. Those are the questions. The itsy-bitsy diatribe is this: have you spoken with financial planning to make sure they know what form it is that you want? That might have been something you could have coordinated before your first, and somewhat urgent, e-mail was sent to a bunch of people, who after all, have been in the military and who might expect checklist-like directions to actually work. She sent back that ‘yes’ was the answer to my questions and this little nugget of wisdom:

“…but as with anything new there can be kinks in the system.”

Listen, you ARE the system. There’s something wrong with you. How about you say this:

“I made a mistake in not ensuring the financial services office was up-to-speed on the new process. I’m going to head down there now, get the form I need for your certification, and take care of it from here. I’ll let you know when it’s done. We won’t have this issue in the future. Thanks for taking care of your paperwork so quickly.”

Why? Because that’s how you do it. Do I need her to stroke my ego? Nope. Do I need her to be competent? Yes. That’s what it boils down to in the end: know your job, understand your process, or don’t participate. Gumming up the system because you’re inept doesn’t actually help anyone.

I rest.

t

(If you're wondering about the picture, find the famous mother of a famous child.)

starting points II

Truth settlement

* skip down to the asterisks if you desire to bypass my rantings…

I had a discussion in class last night with someone who was pontificating on the environment, organic stuff, and how there’s no way the cows could be causing problems. “The cows! Seriously? That’s so funny…”, he put forth before I joined in whilst mopping. I asked him if he knew why the science people discussed cows (and factory farming, etc.) as a problem but he just stared at the wall. I asked him if climate change was an issue since he’d just announced that it was “just a theory”. Nothing. I pointed out that there aren’t any serious scientists who debate the existence of climate change/global warming but there is certainly an array of opinions on how the make-up of causes can be applied. Whether you fall in the category who think 50% of the issue is man-made or the group that feels <5% of the problem is man-made, the problem is still present. There isn’t a valid position that pits all or nothing against the other. And this leads to the follow-on problem: those who know we influence our environment and those that deny that connection. For me, it comes to this: you are free to not like science and you are free to ignore it. What you aren’t free to do is actually deny it. The best parallel I can come up with is smoking. If you smoke then you know it’s bad for you. We all know it’s bad for you. It’s science. If you want to smoke then by all means blaze up and burn ‘em. But, you can’t be standing outside (in the smoking area) on your soapbox denying that smoking isn’t bad for you. Period. Stand there like a man and say, “I know this’ll take years off my life and cause loads of health issues to the day I die but I don’t care.” To that I say, well done. For those that aren’t onboard with attempting to hold the line or reverse our use of resources, you’ve got this that you can freely quote, “I know the science says this is some pretty bad stuff but I don’t give a shit.” At least I can then peg you into the right hole and not waste my time or money trying to change you. Easy peasy.

***************************************************

There’s a behemoth multi-stage piece in the WaPo this week about the military/industrial/government/national security complex that I don’t have much interest in reading. It seems to be all the talk around town and the coffee area because it simply feeds more nutrition into the confused lives of our huge population. Another pylon to support the badge-wearing, business casual tribe’s gabfest that centers on themselves; even if that wasn’t its goal.

My co-“worker” and I headed down into Vienna over lunch to checkout recumbent trikes and I decided to swing by my favorite bakery for sandwiches. As expected, a stunning smoked salmon offering and a side order of a pistachio/chocolate canolli, which I hadn’t had before. Amazing stuff. Oh, and a ciabatta for dinner panini tomorrow night. My canoli mastery needs a lot of work. As it was slow toward the end of the lunch rush I managed to have a little talk with the owner about coming in to do an externship in the fall. He seemed pretty cool with the idea and told me to email him in September. Time or hours wouldn’t be a problem since I found out he runs the place 24 / 7 to keep up with his demand. The potential, for me, is huge on this one. His huge selection of handmade, artisan breads is as good as any bakery you’ll find anywhere. If I could spent 10 or 11 weeks working with him and building on what I’m learning this quarter I’d be simply ecstatic. As the summer rolls on I’ll keep everyone (?) posted.

skool's out 4 summer

This is for Fairfax County Schools. The district is allegedly a top district but I’m downgrading them severely for a complete lack of actual professionalism. Sure, I imagine some schools work hard, some teachers work hard, but the guidance from the district board is severely lacking. The required school year and number of days of instruction for Virginia are 180 or 990 hours. Virginia also participates in the Standards of Learning annual tests (SOLs) that, in and of themselves, are a joke. What happens after completion of the SOLs for the elementary kids is…nothing. The kids sit on their asses, watch movies; do nothing. G. finished his SOLs for sixth grade on June 2nd. The last day of school is June 25th. That’s 17 days of Fairfax schools providing zero schooling – or, if it makes it easier, 9.4% of the school year. I don’t even have a kid in FCPS and it still infuriates me. And for this year, you can add the hair pulling and gnashing of teeth that took place while these mental giants tried to figure out what to do about the two blizzards and the days of school missed. They were due to add something like 3 or 4 days to the year so they petitioned the Virginia DOE to not have to complete those make-up days that would have taken them to required 180. They were relieved of one day, I believe. Why even apply for the waiver? Why not just say “We aren’t going to actually do anything but have the kids watch Escape to Witch Mountain so let’s call it good.” This also isn’t a one-year thing; it’s been like this for all three years in FCPS. It’s really an embarrassment. And, to add to the jackassery, the schools spend at least two weeks simply prepping the kids for the SOLs.. And by prep, I mean simply having them come as close to memorizing the test portions/questions as they possibly can without actually cheating…in a court of law. Together, we’re talking five to six weeks of nothing. Well done, FCPS.

I was searching for some tickets to a show in D.C. – the Black Keys – and came across this mildly, or totally, unrelated ad for a keyboard on craigslist. I think it might be translucent. I think it might have 97 keys – I hate 95-key keyboards – and more importantly, since they didn’t include a picture, I think it has white lettering on black keys. Do I need a USB port for this to work?

I’ve finished my quarter at school and don’t start anew until Monday, July 12th. It was a good quarter and I’ve wrapped up American Regional Cuisine, Latin Cuisine, and Nutrition: a nice summer break with a week in Stowe before I turned my attention to Baking, Pastry, and Garde Manger for the spring. L. also finished at the New School with very good grades – I think she’ll miss the place quite a bit come the fall.

from a to b and back to a. not without a fight.

Here’s the short version. Read beyond the line if you want to read more rabble about Douthet’s NYTimes bit.

The original text of the Arizona law said this:

B. For any lawful contact made by a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of this state or a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of a county, city, town or other political subdivision of this state where reasonable suspicion exists that the person is an alien who and is unlawfully present in the United States, a reasonable attempt shall be made, when practicable, to determine the immigration status of the person, except if the determination may hinder or obstruct an investigation.

The text changes, and law change, made by the Arizona house a week later say this:

B. For any lawful stop, detention or arrest made by a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of this state or a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of a county, city, town or other political subdivision of this state in the enforcement of any other law or ordinance of a county, city or town or this state where reasonable suspicion exists that the person is an alien who and is unlawfully present in the United States, a reasonable attempt shall be made, when practicable, to determine the immigration status of the person, except if the determination may hinder or obstruct an investigation.

A few things, of course. The first attempt, where a very loosely defined ‘contact’ is outlined and that ‘contact’ is based on ‘reasonable suspicion’ that a person is here illegally, is comical. Really? Let me ask you this one, simple question: how might you suspect a person is here illegally when they are walking down the street? I think you know have the answer to why the law met the racial profiling gate.

The new text actually falls in line with Federal code and simply states that if you are involved in a law enforcement issue during a “lawful stop, detention, or arrest” then you must show your identification.

This law, when first passed, was not a law that simply required immigrants to carry their papers, as always. It had nothing to do with that because having your papers, or not, wasn’t the issue,;it was the suspicion that someone doing nothing but being here was strong enough to allow that query. There really was no argument in support of the original bill.

It’s been rewritten to follow the Federal law and I’m fine with that. Wonder why it was rewritten? I’ll just let you think about it.

_____________________________________________

Douthat has an op-ed this morning that addresses – from his right perch – the Arizona immigration law and the issue as a whole. The opening to his third paragraph is enlightening:

“Just because this is the wrong way to enforce America’s immigration laws, however, doesn’t mean they don’t need to be enforced.”

Well, that about covers it, Ross, doesn’t it? That is the rub of this law as it was originally written – it was racial profiling and not just enforcing a law. As he rightly points out, federal law requires the carrying of documentation for immigrants but it doesn’t imply, by any stretch, that they must be produced on demand if they’re walking down the street: and that’s what the law said. The original text of the passed bill stated that any ‘lawful contact’ was all that was needed for a paper query. The rewrite that the house put in place last week changed that to “…any lawful stop, detention, or arrest” and included “in the enforcement of any other law or ordinance of a county, city or town or this state.” Right. Fair enough on the change, but all that does is actually replicate the federal statute (8 USC 1304) and so nothing is new…now Anyone that read the initial law would come to a reasonable conclusion that “contact” not in the “enforcement of any crime or law” in order to check papers is a bit militaristic. How would law enforcement determine which people they were suspicious of being here illegally? How? I wonder. There is no argument that can support the passing of the initial law. (You can see the full texts above.)

When Douthat jumps the shark is in two areas. First with this, “But there’s no compelling reason that we should decide which immigrants to welcome based on their proximity to our border, and their ability to slip across.” Secondly with this, “Curbing the demand for illegal workers requires stiff workplace enforcement, stringent penalties for hiring undocumented workers, and shared sacrifice from Americans accustomed to benefiting from cheap labor.”

The proximity argument is presented as to ensure that someone from Central Africa has the same opportunity to immigrate to America as someone from North or South America. That idea is well-and-good but it isn’t really feasible, is it? Would we suggest that someone from Hong Kong would have the same opportunity to immigrate to France as someone from Algeria? Of course not; proximity during any type of immigration is going to an overriding factor and to intimate anything else is disingenuous.

The call for ‘curbing the demand’ sounds just like the idea behind the War on Drugs and how well did that go? We are well aware that curbing the demand (through employers, stringent penalties, etc.) won’t work any better – are we willing to lock up business owners after immigration raids? They don’t do that now because all they do is haul off the workers. The stopping of demand won’t work because demand it too high by Americans. The phrase that cuts both ways to me, is this, “they are doing jobs that Americans won’t do.” That, of course, is complete and utter bullshit. If I’m for more immigration (legal) then I’ll tell you that if a garlic farmer in Gilroy advertises for 150 harvesters at minimum wage he won’t have a line of white Americans who are unemployed lining up for work. At the same time, the jobs that unemployed Americans want – high pay, good hours, health insurance – aren’t the jobs that immigrants, legal or illegal, are taking. We need to get over that patriotic American, job-hunting bullshit and move along.. Does Douthat know why American business owners hire illegal immigrants? They work for cheap and that helps the great free enterprise and capitalism numbers that the Republicans support against all comers. Ironic, isn’t it? Even when President Bush tried twice of overhaul the immigration system the Republicans blocked any movement on it – wouldn’t even bring it to the floor for discussion. If Douthat is so serious about enforcement of laws, and he really, really thinks that cutting the demand is the best solution, then how about getting up and a tub and thumping away at hauling off every business owner and homeowner who employs a single illegal immigrant, just one time. Haul them off, Ross, mister man of laws. But he won’t.

As far as the courts are concerned we have some precedent on suspicion and profiling. They tried setting up police roadblocks in the D.C. neighborhood of Trinidad in the summer of 2008 during a summer of unbelievable violence and the roadblocks were intended to curb that violence. The police, under Cathy Lanier, didn’t want to actually police the city they just wanted to stop people – how random? – going in and out of the neighborhood whenever they felt the need. Funny, it didn’t stop the violence; it was merely a form of profiling of a neighborhood and the courts struck it down. The original Arizona law was equally as bad. The changes simply realign the Arizona law with Federal code – it was changed because of the outcry.

The immigration system is a big problem and needs overhaul. When there’s work and people who want to do it yet we are unable to process them in any reasonable method then we’ll have problems. Better life, better work, better opportunity but no way to let people come here and do the work and live that life. I’m pretty sure that if allowed to immigrate to the U.S. with documents then people would; no one wants to live their life in a shadow. There are options that include temporary worker statues (which we use now), allowing more in for season work, etc. As Douthet points out, 54% of immigrants here from Mexico are here legally. If more than half of come here legally then clearly the preponderance of evidence shows they follow a procedure if it’s available. And 40% of those here illegally came here legally but have out-stayed there welcome – illegally. I get it so spare me the ‘enforce the law’ crap and actually try to do something to fix the problem instead of hailing Sheriff Joe Arpaio as anything other than the complete moronic, racist, jackass that he is.

Thanks

into a dark hole, out of a dark hole

Most of our snow disappeared over the last few days and that worked out well for woodstacking activities. X ordered a cord of firewood yesterday and it greeted us upon my arrival home from work. The boys and I managed to get about three-quarters the way through the drive-to-porch wood stacking so there’s not much left for today or tomorrow. We only worked for 40 minutes – with varying levels of “this is going to take forever” ringing about The Hilltop – before we headed inside so I could make dinner (salmon steaks, rice, and broccoli with homemade cheese sauce for them). As I was washing my hands I asked H. if he had change for a $20 bill, which he did, and I paid both $10 for the 2/3-hour worth of work. I think the surprise of getting paid – I think of stacking wood as a little more than normal work – seemed to salve their misery of work. Of course, they immediately wanted to know when we might do the rest; work suddenly not seeming so bad. The problem now is that I think they “owe” someone make-up work and I believe I’ve been told that finishing the woodstacking is going to said make up, payment be damned. I’ve been clued in to not tell them they won’t be getting any money until after they finish. I’m not sure I’m overly interested in this soon-to-be endless debate.

Part of the reason money has become an issue for them is they’ve discovered a Friday Night Magic club/tournament in Falls Church which may or may not involved buy-ins or card purchases. Magic – The Gathering (as all true players refer to it) is a fantasy card game that involves something about monsters, fairies, lands, weapons, evolution, booster cards, blah, blah, and blah. I have no idea how it’s played since fantasy isn’t anything that interests me but the boys are literally shaking in anticipation of being a part of it all. I’m sure they’ll have a blast even if the 9:15pm starting time will lead to sleepy Saturday mornings.

I've finally bitten the bullet and started to change banks from USAA, or as I call them, "The Devil", to a local bank. USAA has a bit of a monopoly on military and retired military and they really suck as far a pure banking goes. The insurances and whatnot seem better but who knows; if I die maybe we'll have that answer. I despise them like I despise all huge banks that are making more money on fees and jackassery than actual banking. Fuck 'em all.

Nice ending, eh?

Love

t

hey, what's this thing do?

A panel of experts, appointed by the federal government, recently changed its recommendation and said that such routine mammograms should begin at age 50 rather than at age 40.

Off to a horrible beginning. I read, and listened to, quite a load of commentary over the last few weeks that addressed this recommendation. At first, I was a bit confused on why they’d recommend waiting on routine exams but the more I heard, from both sides, the more it made sense. What’s vital is that this is merely a recommendation, with some strong supporting data, but it doesn’t hold the rule of law or stop you and your doctor from doing what’s best for you. Like many other recommendations made by various independent and professional groups, we don’t need to open up this can of misery where the Senate will now begin to “debate” and “amend” every fucking piece of health and it’s place in the bill – I will give you a paycheck if the Republicans don’t next propose an amendment saying that “the four out of five dentists recommending Crest” are full of shit and that any health care reform package must not include any reference to brushing and/or flossing. This was a huge mistake on the Democrats part and something that sits astride Harry Reid’s narrow and incapable shoulders

I can’t believe this stuff. Like we need these knock-a-looks to be so far down in the weeds.

“I put forth an amendment requiring that all insurance companies participating in the exchange provided coverage for non-hurty band-aids for all children.”

turkey time

I'm going to try to draw a parallel and I'd like you to follow along. If you've bowled in a league at any point in your life than it'll make more sense. I guess if you been to college and worried about a GPA it might make sense. Lets say you're bowling average, based on your history, is 166. You'll generally head out to the lanes and rack up a 500 series every week during your league. Early in the season the average will bounce around a bit as you get used to the lanes, the teammates, and the atmosphere. What you found out very quickly is that it's much easier to see your average drop than to climb. The requirements for increasing your average are more stringent - you're actually excelling above-and-beyond the norm. Do you know what it takes to get that average to drop? Sit on the couch, don't give a crap, and just chuck the ball down the lane. I guarantee it'll drop like a rock. And, just to add to your bowling misery, it'll take even more excellence to bring it back to that 166 after you've spent three or four weeks struggling because you're hungover, stupid, and don't care. Once you everything back in order then moving forward requires even more hard work and thundering scores. Not only that, as the weeks pass and pile up on your league scoresheet it becomes even harder to make up time. You're dealing with a load of crap.

Here's the analogy for all the Democrats and liberals out there who are endlessly complaining. Imagine we're in a bowling league - keep that in mind - and think about how much work needs to be done in order to get back to a balanced point. You won't do it tonight and you won't do it next week. If you want to just throw the ball as hard as you can down the middle and hope for the best, fire away, it won't work...it never does. Otherwise, shut up. Do you really think that over the course of 150 days we'll unfuck the issues this country is facing? Do you really think that over a 24-hour news cycle we'll be able to restore the country's strength and dignity? You know what? There's load of stuff that isn't being moved along as quickly as I'd like but at least I have an inkling that it'll happen - and some point beyond 150 days.

What have you done in the last 150 days? I thought so.

Maybe in another month I can read how Andrew Sullivan - and the Democrats - look back and say, for the umpteenth time, "Wow, I didn't see that coming. Seems like he's always a step ahead of us..."

Good night and good luck.

what are all those people doing out there?

I've come across an op-ed in today's NYTimes by Yu Hua. I first encountered Yu after hearing a review of his book, Brothers, on NPR. (Am I liberal enough? Reading the Times and getting my reviews from NPR; and then blogging about it?) Brothers is a monster work and details the life of Baldy Li. I'll leave the reviews to others because I haven't finished the book and because they're much better at writing book reviews. (You can hear/read the NPR review here, the LATimes review here, and the NYTimes review here.) What the book has struck me as - in the first portion - is something akin to the writing of both Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Ismail Kadare; a bit fantastical and vaguely surreal. What's more important to this day is Yu's commentary on the Tiananmen Square pro-democracy protests from 20 years ago. He purports there were two facts that have become apparent since then, the second being that "... after the summer of 1989 the incident vanished from the Chinese news media. As a result, few young Chinese know anything about it." What strikes me isn't do much a direct comparison between the pro-democracy rallies in China (or the government crackdowns) and the eight years of the Bush Administration, but a process where something is forgotten or exiled to the past because was wrong. Who resigns something to the vault if it were a just or correct choice? If they don't leave it broken and shattered the dark corner they end up justifying it until it becomes such a weary and threadbare memory that people eventually let the dog lie.

This is the premise of Dick Cheney. If his misdeeds had been left in the dark, if no one had questioned his thuggery, then we never would have seen him again; a better future for us all. Instead, he's been forced into the light - no doubt against his will or desire - in an attempt to convince "the people", as Yu says, that his decisions were in the best interests of "the people". The problem with this tack is that there's a huge difference between our looking to the past and seeing that the intention was good but execution poor, and trying to convince me that your intentions were ever good. Cheney's intentions were never good and the longer he stays in the spotlight blathering like an ass the sooner "the people" will get the truth. His intention was always solely focused on his desire for retribution and revenge; there isn't an unselfish bone in his body. Instead of wanting him to disappear, I'm perfectly happy to see his mug all over the TV and newspapers because the house of cards will fall much quicker the longer we're exposed to the lies. The people can be right - remember the millions around the World that protested the Iraq War? - and the leaders wrong not because they misjudged but because they believe their good is greater than our good. Cheney still believes he can muscle his malfeasance into truth by merely changing his story, scowling at the press, or reaching for anything that will either justify his actions or make us forget. He has been, and still is, supported in this belief by both Republicans and Democrats whose hold that their political life is their actual life. It's disappointing to see how spineless and shallow the Congress has been.

As Yu says in his op-ed, there are loads of young Chinese who don't remember Tiananmen because it's been hidden in a closet. What Cheney really wanted was the same process; hidden away so nobody would remember and he could live his dying days as some type of hero in his own mind. Instead, we have the pleasure of seeing him unwind and attempt to define his legacy as something other than shitty. When not a single piece of good comes from your eight years of work in leading your county, you are a failure.

A light Sunday chat.

t

we'll just fix that later...or not.

It’s not like this is much of a surprise. (There’s loads of Web chatter today on the same subject.) George Tenet was a seriously incompetent DCI; first with the ‘slam dunk’, and now this peek further behind the curtain. I don’t know much more about him, but I have watched and listened to a bunch of his ‘avert the blame’ interviews, and this simply cements his lowlight resume. This caper that led to the CIA, and military members, to torture would be comical if the result wasn’t so heinous. I was trained by one the psychologists named in this article – two or three times – and it’s hard to believe that the SERE leaders didn’t fight back harder. Even with that mark against the SERE record, the CIA, legislators, and OLC were delinquent in doing in even the most basic investigation or background work on what they were proposing. Could it be true that they had no idea about the history and success, or lack thereof, of these techniques? Did they not understand that what we use as training on US forces (and I had all of these done to me, barring the water board) was done in an academic environment with training provided and after-the-fact review? There were timeouts allowed. Very little was a surprise to us and there was a clear timeline for the end of each training session. No matter where one might stand on the issue as a whole, if you were in this situation and decided you needed to call in the OLC for an opinion on legality then you better have done your homework. What your mind is telling you is that this walks, talks, and smells like torture yet all you do at that point is sit on your ass, at a desk, and make up whatever suits your needs. It’s not a lack of knowledge that’s embarrassing - knowledge can be gained – it’s the straight-pipe sense of moral right that’s the problem. I don’t care if this was during a time when people were worried and scared – that’s why we have laws. It’s during times when common sense fails that law gives us guidance.

"you'd bitch if you were hung with new rope" - my mother

This interesting little nugget has somehow caught commentators and the public (as if commentators aren’t public) by surprise. During the President’s first complete cabinet meeting he told all his department heads and agency chiefs to cut back spending (or find savings) by a total of $100 million: basically, find some administrative areas they can be more efficient and make them so. Now, I’ll simply point out that there is a massive difference, in monetary value and importance, between the spending programs, budget, and the economic recovery bills so ridiculed as waste by Republicans; and efficiency of an operation or organization. If the military is going to have a budget of x trillion dollars and the big budget cut is going to be the $550 toilet seat then we've got some comedy. But, this $100 million dollars is a matter of streamlining what is required for administration and management for the departments and agencies – nothing more, nothing less. This isn't meant as a move that adds or cuts programs in the big "budgetary" manner – we’re not talking about cutting a fighter aircraft order; we’re talking about saving money on the process that orders the aircraft, see the difference? And it certainly isn’t a pathetic effort or ploy as assessed by Andrew Sullivan or Greg Mankiw. Going back to the $550 toilet seat that everyone hoisted in the air as an embarrassment back whenever that happened: we wanted – we needed – to complain about the $550 in the vein of pure waste, but now we suddenly find it laughable that $100 million in waste can be saved…and someone is willing to do it?

Look, this has been Obama’s character since the campaign. Remember way back when he commented that ensuring that your tires were properly inflated could contribute – along with other programs he sponsored – to increasing mileage and saving energy? Regardless of the fact that it may only increase mileage by 3 -4%, being that we import more than 20% of our oil used for gas/fuel, it’s a nice amount of savings. He’s always been focused on building a process that leads to an end goal and not dicking around with lightning rod tomfoolery. Remember the Clinton and McCain support for the summertime gas tax holiday? He didn’t bite because removing a gas tax for ninety days isn’t any type of fix or leadership, it’s pandering. What he’s building in his administration is the idea that we’ll spend money wisely from the very top down to the smallest agency. If they can spend $100 to do something that an agency has been spending $300 to accomplish then why should we guffaw at them merely because our economy is in the shitter? That’s some really crappy analysis by Sullivan and Mankiw. You know what you could do to make it really funny? You could relate it to a cup of expensive liberal coffee and then it’ll really get a laugh! Hijinks!

How about this one: that funny total of $3 in the average family’s savings over a year would only save you enough money for 10 more rounds of .22 ammunition for your rifle. Man, that is so funny!

Here’s the breakdown: this savings idea is the equivalent, in your household, of buying a plain label brand of NyQuil or plain label pain reliever. It always makes sense; in good times and bad times. We get the same actual ingredients for less money. That is a totally different animal then saying that you can’t afford a $60,000 luxury car and then settling for something in the $55K range. Can I put a percentage savings on the plain label medicine that makes it look funny in relation to a $55,000? I can. If you are saving $4 on medicine but buying a $55,000 car then it’s only a matter of about .007%. That person is such a damn fool.

Buy the NyQuil.

diatribe

I've finally caught up on some news and shows. I'll be brief. Jon Stewart has never been a great interviewer but his comedic commentary is impeccable. The war of words between he and Jim Cramer completely exploded this week and Cramer agreed to appear on Thursday night. I'd recommend watching the entire week's worth of shows, but if you aren't up for it then at least watch the three-part unedited interview that you can find at www.thedailyshow.com. Cramer gets credit for sitting down for this undressing, trying to admit his jackassery, and taking it like a man. You can write this off as comedy, as a liberal comedian being a tool, or as something you don't want to hear, but the truth is...

Fuck you, Jim Cramer.

it's the music

Right-o

Here's what we need to focus on between now and the end of the year: The Old Crow Medicine Show and their new CD in September, and Gillian Welch. I'm merely guessing, but I think Gillian and David Rawlings must have something to release in the works. Of course, they've always been way off the path of "I must do it" so it could be next year. I'm listening to her tonight; she's so underrated in the twang world.

The 61 is off to BWI to drop X off for her journey north and the Massachusetts Bar Exam on Wednesday and Thursday next week. She'll be staying in Springfield for a few nights to make sure there are no major worries or traffic jackassery on the mornings of the test. She's worried. I understand the worry but I'm fully vested (and have money riding on...) her meeting the 80% pass rate. Send her good thoughts...

L. and I, or the remaining 51, will be heading onward to Baltimore after the drop-off. I've got some late entry tickets to the Baltimore (national) Aquarium and dolphin show so we'll hang around the Inner Harbor, do some eating, and do some shopping before the fish and our later drive home.

X sent me a friend request on facebook today. I reminded her that we are already sleeping together and a facebook friend request was so JV. Was I wrong? Just asking.

The weather in the D.C. area has been unseasonably mild this week. Lovely sleeping, with my facebook "friend", pleasant evenings, and dreamy mornings.

More on the fish later.

t

of letters

Speaking of people of letters, while walking home from the Metro this afternoon I was viewing and judging the homes along Haycock Road when I came across one of those genius families that put their address above the garage using black cursive, wrought-iron letters. I'd never thought much about it but I'm now convinced that crappy lettering in lieu of bright brass or lit actual numbers is horribly frustrating. I'm sure I've driven around any number of unfamiliar neighborhoods looking for addresses and coming across some house with Garamond italic phrases proclaiming, in the dusk of evening, that this home is indeed seventy-five thirty-nine Jumbalaya Lane.

The Eleven has been all over craigslist for the last three or four weeks filling some of the needs for the new place. Suddenly we notice a certain type of post-er / photog that feels the need to display furniture just so; like this or this. The first thing that comes to a man's mind runs along these lines. "Honey, take the chaise outside for the picture...not there, over there...not on the grass, on the sidewalk. Don't step on the dahlias!...maybe a little closer to the driveway...watch out for the minivan...that looks good. Wait...what about the backlighting..." In our little minds we're thinking our original plan of tossing the damn thing in a dumpster - or eating it - would be preferable to this jackassery. I love the table in this ad because apparently it would make a great "computer desk" out near the forest in our backyard. "Hey honey, why don't you take your computer out back - I'll run you a power cord."

Maybe I'm jaded.

t.

lumbergh

I cut our swatch of Everest today. When you come and see the house – stay if you like, we’ve got rooms and futons – you’ll understand the yard thing. Luckily, I’ve got some yard and groundskeeping skills. If I can claim only one manly trait then it’d be my ability to work any two-stroke and 3.5hp (or lower) apparatus. What I normally do is this – cut horizontally one week, vertically the next, and on the diag’ the third. It makes for a lovely lawn…and I don’t much like lawns. This joint only allows for one cut, horizontal – it’s way too steep and crazy to imagine any other geometry. Of course, I’m just crazy enough with the Jac’ to consider my options.

The immediate rundown of folks on the block shows that we’ve got kids galore around these parts. From what we’ve seen, there are four next door and three more two doors down. Lots of others walking dogs, and themselves, every night; a very friendly neighborhood. G. pontificated on his shyness when we first moved here but he wandered about tonight and came home with a half dozen kids in tow. I told him I thought he could establish his own tribe of kids who’d follow his every move since he’s the oldest. He relayed that they are horrible at catching anything, namely him, so he didn’t think they’d be of any use. Ah, I said, that’s exactly what you want – troops to train and worship you. Upon the arrival of Henry the Elder this week, you’ll already have your kingdom of warriors. I got little more than a sideways glance.

Here’s my deal with work. The small company is struggling a bit and there’ve been some layoffs over the last three or four days. I worry about that, but I must say I worry more about why it is that my division and group leaders aren’t talking. What I hate more than anything else are folks in charge who don’t just sit down and tell people what’s what. I have no illusion that times change, companies need to make moves, and that the world isn’t perfect – just don’t hide in your office and f*&king pretend it isn’t happening. In the end, if I (or we) know there are issues then we at least have a chance to make changes and look around for other opportunities before you kick me in teeth and head back to your office. I hate cowards. In fact, we’ve had two or three ‘get togethers’ where the bigs spout the same crap I heard from military commanders – and I hated them for that because I knew the truth. As it is, I’m safe until the end of summer; beyond that (and my completion of their contract), I’ll place no bets. Man up.

The Current is playing through my speakers and I’m happy. I’m happy about that as an aside to everything else; these are the best days of my life.

T.

turn off the blast furnace

I’ve noticed a real problem when it comes to comment posting at either left- or right-wing blogs/news sites/papers, etc.: exclamation points and capital letters. The last thing I need to see while reading high-minded commentary from “Debbie” in “Florida” are the caps on lock and lost punctuation. Sit back for just a moment and contemplate this – if “Debbie” from “Florida” is using caps then she’s clearly pleading her case via the Kathleen Harris method of intelligence. If you are unable to make your point without screaming at me via the comment section then your point isn’t actually anything that anyone needs to ponder. It’s a direct relation to the "speaking loud Americans" who feel that if you slowly and loudly ask a question it’ll be understood. Funny enough, that doesn’t work. Most of the irritation on my end has to do with them folk that are wholly wrapped up in Obama and his preacher. There appears to be, on both sides of the ledger, voters that are held hostage by the last thing they read or heard on Fox, at the New York Times, from Katie Couric, or screamed from Keith Olberman. Let it go. It’s much more important to decide for yourself what’s what and to tune out the static. I beg everyone to believe nothing they receive via e-mail, in the mailbox, that’s reported on CNN or Fox, or from any other group that has a vested interest in a candidate (and that includes me): choose for your life. Choose for other’s lives. I don’t give one shit for what Obama may say about Clinton; Clinton about McCain; Rush about anyone – it’s all spinning of the wheels. Simply look out your window, ponder what you believe is right, and decide from there – you and you alone. If you believe in A over B, B over C, or C or A…I’m with you; as long as it’s a choice you’ve made and not Joe Scarbourgh, Michelle Malkin, Andrew Sullivan, or Santa Claus. Take a stand.

IF YOU DON’T DO THIS THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR SORRY ASS AND LEAVE THIS COUNTRY IF YOU DON’T LOVE CUDDLE KISS AND…WHATEVER. BASTARDS. FRENCH. LIBERALS. HEATHENS.

ma! get outta my room!

My brother down Dallas way reminded me of my desire to cover condom shoppes (old-timey vocabulary) and the proliferation, if you will, throughout the strip (ha ha) malls of the City of Dallas and/or Dallas County. My most recent visit was filled with neon signs calling out for big, medium, and small…condoms. I have never seen a condom store – though I imagine missing areas or cities in Europe that offer this strip mall service. My first thought is that Dallas wants nothing more than to control the usage and application of condoms. As background, and those who’ve been to Dallas can vouch for me, they have the most ludicrous law(s) concerning drinking; and nothing goes with drinking better than condoms. The first is the somewhat rudimentary ‘state liquor’ store jackassery. Iowa does it, Minnesota does it – and I find them to be progressive...if that means anything. You can buy beer and wine in groceries but you don’t dare touch the hard stuff. It’s a completely perverse and tax-laden economy – not only will I take your money because you want a shot of Maker’s Mark (and who doesn’t?) but I’ll hit you up for overtaxation and governmental control. I’d almost think the Democrats and big government were involved. Funny enough, it’s the conservative, save you from yourself, taxing governments that run this sham. And now I’ve got to deal with condoms? Even though I can't find the city code I know in my heart, deep down in my soul, that Tom "*(^%#@" DeLay is behind this teenage mentality. Anyone named DeLay should...nevermind. The second bit of junk is the ‘private club’ mentality – you can’t drink in the City of Dallas (and any number of smaller cities within an hour of the Big D) unless you are a “member” of the club. This entails you paying $1 to fill out a form that signifies you are a 'member' of the ‘club’ that actually covers ALL of Dallas. Think about this. If I pay my $1 once, and carry the crappy little card around with me everywhere I go, then I can drink for a whole year via spymaster use of golden $1 card. NOBODY carries that thing around all year – you throw it in the garbage. The next time out…you pay another dollar. You can laugh at me for not being diligent enough to carry around my dry cleaning receipt but the fact is I’ll just pay the money to shut them up. It’s like "free returns”….nobody uses them. It’s the process that's gunked up – not me.

So…I’ve paid my dollar at TGI Friday’s, I’ve stopped at the State Liquor Store for some Wild Turkey, and now I’m thinking I’ve got my date right where I want her. All I need are a few…condoms. I can’t actually finish the story because it’s too stupid to imagine myself buying some Strawberry-flavored from Tom DeLay.

The other thing you get in the DFW metroplex is road talk. I’ve tested the waters with the MedTech in the Hosptial thusly: Is the High-5 done?

“Dang if it ain’t done!”

I headed to the DFW tourism office and snatched me up a few postcards showing the High-5. Here’s a link to the Flickr photoset of the High-5…it's over 1,100 pictures and I KNOW it isn't some contractor...it's the damn High-5!!!

I got through the damn High-5 in 26 minutes today. I used to be stuck in the pile of pig slop for 67 minutes….”

Here’s a shot at the Superdelegate issue from an insider. Any Super-Ds who jump now – for both sides – should be barred. They're there for a reason. Sorry, that was a politics jump.

Here’s my chant: Nebraska, Louisiana, Washington, Maine, Maryland, D.C., and Virginia…

T.

P.S. I apologize to all the mothers for my condom talk. It's the High-5!

map to market

I’m attaching a map of the craziness that is the Northern Virginia street and traffic pattern. I’m only using this as a representative example of jackassery that goes on about here. The reason I can finally put fingers to keys is a visit the Eleven had with a landlord/homeowner a few weeks ago (we were eyeing a bigger place at the time). He’d grown up in the area and commented, after I’d laughed at trying to figure out exactly how to get from A to B, that there is rhyme or reason to the labeling of streets and one of the ‘well known’ items was this…don’t laugh. The word streets go in alphabetical order. That’s not all. When they ran out of letters (years and years ago) they started over with A but then named all the streets with words that have…two syllables! There is an entire alphabet even further west from the river that has three syllables. In my imagination I can see a tree-lined street further west that’s nom d’boulevard is Arugula. I have no five-syllable words to even contemplate.

Here are the maps....enlarge and zoom into the blue areas for a good view; if you're a geek.

Here's the switch from one to two syllable streets:

View Larger Map

Here's the switch from two to three, note how the letters don't actually align - and how some still slip through, and how some crazy streets that are a part of nothing show from the abyss...

View Larger Map

I made my first trip to the Eastern Market this afternoon. Last spring or winter it caught fire and it’s in the process of being rebuild and restored. The actual building is sturdy of brick and I think it’s mostly the inside that needs refurbishing. As it is, they’ve set-up temporary spaces outside on the city blocks and the food market, a separate building across the street, is operating as normal. I asked the boys if they wanted to come along but they decided against – unawares that street and open markets tend to have huge crepe stands with gigantic piles of goodness. Oh well. It was an absolutely gorgeous day in the District and I was in a very holiday mood. I’ve sorted Laurel’s stuff, snagged some jewels, two Swiss peelers (yes!), a few knickknacks, and some stocking stuffers. It was a day well spent. P.S. X was at the Arlington Central Library studying law all day.

I’ve bribed the boys with Pokemon cards in order to get them to clean their room tonight. I know, precedent. I think it’s easier right now to get the room cleaned, and further groundings averted, than it is to consider future “I want something in order to do something” arguments. Their mother will be more at ease…it’s for her, not me! I’m taking them to see the Golden Compass in the morning before I settle in for a day of cleaning and Sunday Times reading.

I know…a rare weekend post. Read this.