the straight talk express

This story has been brewing over two or three weeks in my head and now it’s complete. I’ve hit upon what clarifies for me what I’ll call the yin/yang of what bothers straight guys when around or discovering gay guys in the midst. The narrative began when I was watching Prime Suspect 3 with Helen Mirren – she was starring in show not watching it with me. I think this episode was sometime from the late 80s and dealt with murders within the gay community of London. As they were tracking the hunting grounds of the killer in the gay community – the quiet clubs, the party clubs, etc. – one of the veteran officers gives them a rundown on all the joints and their specifics. As he finishes he gets razz'd for his knowledge of gay clubs by the other coppers in his office; right then and there he tells them that he’s gay. A bit later in the show he encounters one of his mates in the restroom and his friend is gobsmacked by the admission and completely put off by him. So, the light that came on above my little head illuminated this idea: straight guys are, in effect, bothered by the fact that the gay guy in the office, at the club, in his golf foursome or anywhere else hasn’t hit on him. The straight guy can’t possibly believe two things a) he should have already known his mate was gay because gay guy mate would surely have hit on him, b) there’s no way a gay guy, like any girl anywhere, wouldn’t find him dashing and attractive. The rub is that he wants nothing to due with his gay acquaintance but he wants nothing to do with it on his own terms: generally something that could be understood to combine a mean-spirited comment and a punch in the face. It makes a great story for him when he tells it while drinking beer in the golf cart with his pals. You may not agree, and that’s fine, but I’ll give you this – you will get the exact same reaction out of a straight guy if there are girls in a room who don’t flirt or coo around him. This aspect is genetic to all men; guys (straight or gay) and girls should certainly find his humor, personality, and feats of strength most interesting. Don’t believe the idea has anything to do with straight guy thinking about gay guy in any gay way, or his wanting to be gay, it’s merely the self-ideal that’s at play. Trust me. I’m right on this one.

That’s all - a little something to ponder after my last entry for the month.

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