it's a trap. a TRAP!

I’ll move through the various Saturday night escapades using small steps; there were far too many interesting things to include in one post. The back story is this: I bought four tickets to the New Pornographers show at the 9:30 Club in D.C. X wasn’t too interested in going so I was on my own. I also had sold two of the tickets via Craigslist and needed to deliver them out front before the concert. The agreed delivery time was 7pm (doors were at 8pm, first band at 8:30pm). There will be short quiz later, remember the details.

Left the house at 6p and headed to the Metro for a three-line, two-station transit to the U St. and Florida Ave. neighborhood of the District – the area that reminds me so much of north London. For those unawares, one of the curses of the Metro system is the inevitable 14-minute gap between trains on evenings and weekends. For us commuters that base our lives on 3-4 minute gaps during rush hour, the 30-45 minutes of waiting for the trains (using a three-station trip) is excruciating. By the time I got to my third station (Chinatown) it was already 6:45 and the next train was….14 minutes away, go figure. Since I’d agreed to a 7pm meeting for the ticket transfer, and I’m nothing if not prompt, I decided to hop back up to the street and catch a cab the last few miles to the club. Awaiting me outside the station was the strangest cab-for-hire I’ve ever encountered. I climbed into the backseat and gave Santa Claus my destination. I’m wholly convinced that St. Nick was my driver: huge white beard, strange wintry cap as disguise, big winter jacket, hymms playing on the radio. Check, check, check, check. As we pulled away from the curb, very slowly, I immediately realized this guy was in no hurry to get anywhere – the photo negative of every other cabbie in the world. Since we were moving soooo slowly through NW D.C., and the scenery was passing as if I was riding in a horse-drawn carriage, I took a good look around the cab. It appeared that he’d simply painted Taxi Cab on the doors and rolled out this piece of junk from behind the fence at the back of his property. Every single warning light on the dash was activated - every single one. There were at least 8 warning lights blazing or blinking through the dark of the cab – I didn’t know cars had that many warning lights. The two that really startled me were the “you’ve left the iron on at home” light, and the “you’re digital camera is done charging” light. Along with those problems, the car apparently had no oil, brakes, fluids, battery, or wheels. Not only were the lights a little disconcerting but steering wheel was misaligned by 90 degrees. Regardless, Ol’ Jeb did get me safely to the club, arriving at exactly 7pm, but there was no need to stop in order for me to alight…I simply stepped out the cab as we moved along at normal 1.5mph, handed him some cash, got my change, and walked in front of the cab with no worry of getting hit.

A true story from the ulpan of monkeys.

We had a mouse
Living in our house

Digging up our plants aloe
Basking in the nighttime glow

We gained a trap that was humane
And set it out to great refrain

Gone to sleep our hearts a-flutter
Hoping to lure…with peanut butter

A single night and he is trapped
While we sleep our luck is snapped

Two boys wake up and take on work
No need for little mouse to lurk

Just outside the door they ponder
We’ll free the rodent, he’ll certainly wander

“We opened it outside,” they say
When mother gets up to start the day

“He’s small and can’t get in,” they cry
She thinks, and wonders, “Why I try?”

More Saturday night stories…stay tuned.

T.