as important as a straw poll

There was very intelligent discussion taking place on our drive to Dulles airport last night. X and the boys are now safely in New England for their annual three-week boondoogle; I’m ‘working’. The intrigue began when X pondered aloud, for reasons unknown, why superheroes wear costumes. In particular, what is the deal with the cape? I understand capes, my mother used to pin a towel around my neck when I was home from school, and have some professional experience: the cape helps you fly. Why wouldn’t it? What other purpose could it serve? As my statement of truth was floating through the air I realized that maybe I only think the cape helps them fly because that’s the impression I’ve been given by the creators - I only think it because they’ve made me think it. X pointed out that having a piece of material flapping around behind you, tugging at your neck while you’re hurtling through the air, probably doesn’t assist in the flying skill. That nay saying attitude never stopped me from jumping around on the stairs in our house or from tree branches back in Minnesota youth…I don’t trust her silliness. The cape was merely a minor problem to open; what about Wonder Woman’s invisible plane? How useful is it, really? The first serious question is whether or not the outline of the plane is provided simply for the cartoon viewer benefit or if it really shows when she’s flying. If the outline is there all the time, in the superhero world, then the invisible trait is pointless – they can all see the plane. If this is all true then the invisible bit is only helpful to ensure that Wonder Woman is following FAA safety requirements: seat belts, shoes, golden wrist bands, etc. If the outline isn’t visible then we’ve got bigger problems, not the least of which is how to find the plane on the parking ramp. We know that Wonder Woman doesn’t have any type of special vision so the possibility of misplacing the plane is quite likely. How would you find the ladder to climb up into the cockpit? I imagine that a truly invisible plane (or truck, or car, or helicopter) parking on a ramp at Midway Airport will probably get run into by fuel trucks, baggage haulers, food service, and myriad other ‘visible’ mechanical machinery. Also, Wonder Woman isn’t invisible so the baddies can see her flying through the air, looking dopey – not so tricksy now, is it? The massive number of fallacies with the invisible plane make it no better than a non-invisible plane. Since it only appears to function as her transport then she should simply get a jet-fighter, visible and all.

We also decided that the bulletproof bracelets are impressive enough, but it’s really the hand-eye coordination that’s key. As X plainly stated, “I can have the all the bulletproof bracelets I want, but I’m not stopping any bullets.” True, double true.

How’s that for serious stuff?

T