Thursday, January 31, 2008

am not.

Yesterday afternoon G.'s grandmother came by with an old high school friend and child who are traveling across the entire North American continent by car (Alaska to Florida). As they were introduced to G. the scenario turned to him running the other child, R., through the kid paces.

G: So, how old are you?
R: 8
G: What grade are you in?
R: Second.
G: Do you know what GameCube is?
R: Yes.
G: What size are your feet?
R: I dunno.
G: Do you have a computer at home?
R: Yes.
G: How many?
R: Two.
G: Do you own one, like, in your room?
R: [a look of huh?]
G: I have one right there in my room...

This very natural, childlike exchange is almost too painful to follow, especially when one kid is on another kid's home court. It's not like they met on the playground and G. didn't have the whole house to flaunt at the visiting team. At a neutral site each kid could at least have the benefit of making up anything and spitting it out while jumping on a slide or swing. It would be very cool if we could have adult interactions along the same line; I know, we kind of do, but it would be much funnier if it turned out like this. Imagine a co-worker brings his 'date' over for dinner. We'll call my date X and his date Y.

X: How old are you?
Y: 29
X: I'm 37 (ish)
Y: Oh.
X: What's your inseam?
Y: 30
X: I'm a 36. Where did you go to school?
Y: University of Virginia.
X: Oh. [damn!] I went to Cambridge and I’m finishing up at Georgetown Law.
Y: Oh yeah? Where did you do your undergrad work?

X: [leaning into kitchen] Hey baby, is dinner almost ready?


X: Do you have a big closet at home?
Y: Not too big.
X: I have a big one. It's right in my room. Want to see it?


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