call me 'tender'

There are nine Democrats declared and heading to the gate for the 2008 presidential nomination. From what I can tell there are six Republicans officially in the paddock getting settled. What to do? I’ve decided to spend two entries a month, one per party, updating each race – beginning in March. Prior to that I’m going to so some gathering, the unofficial-Google©-Wikipedia©-news media, blogosphere gathering, about each candidate’s political background and history in public life. I’ll include the gaffes along with the serious concerns and issues. No one is immune. In March I’ll have the starting positions aligned and we’ll get rolling. I’m shooting for four quick-hit profiles a week so we’ll be set to go by March – this’ll be fun. Here’s the opening day roster of candidates:

The 9 Dems

Senator Joe Biden (Del.)
Senator Hillary Clinton (N.Y.)
Senator Christopher Dodd (Conn.)
Former Senator John Edwards (N.C.)
Former Senator Mike Gravel (Alaska)
Representative Dennis Kucinich (Ohio)
Senator Barrack Obama (Ill.)
Governor Bill Richardson (N.M.)
Former Governor Tom Vilsack (Iowa)

The 6 Pubs

Senator Sam Brownback (Kan.)
John Cox of Illinois
Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani (N.Y.C.)
Representative Duncan Hunter (Ca.)
Senator John McCain (Ariz.)
Former Governor Mitt Romney (Mass.)

The first primary/caucus is scheduled for Iowa on January 14th, 2008 although the N'Hamps are up in arms about some state law on primary dates. My first bold predication is that of the 15 on this list only 8 will make it to Labor Day. Of course, some additional candidates will heave themselves into race, but only 8 of these will need to get out their dark shoes in September. Stand by for the quick profiles on Biden, Edwards, and Brownback.

Here are the selling points that these folks need to address if I’m going to walk out of the dealership with the fully-loaded Escalade©. Of course, by addressing these issues I mean actually stating a position – and I also want you to stop pointing with your goddamned thumbs!

1. International Affairs – restore America’s place as a leader, not THE leader, in world affairs. This means:

Establishing stability in Iraq and managing an acceptable solution to end our military involvement. I don’t believe there is a military solution at this juncture but I do believe that things like getting the power on, the water running, and the establishing of order are the most effective steps we can make.

Get off the bench, step forward, and show that any genocide, in any country, on any continent, will be stopped. No government should be shamed into action. If anyone needs background see Srebrenica and Rwanda, it is right there, and it’s awful. To read a statement that “until X number of people are killed in a ratio to the potential loss of one American life before we step in…” is grotesque.

Stop questioning global warming and the effects. We cannot continue to question the science…stop.

Instead of fighting the UN, make it better.

Pay our bills.

2. Domestic Affairs – restore any semblance of a government concerned with issues that really are issues.

Eliminate the tax cuts implemented for the wealthiest. Either cut them all or start at bottom and work your way up.

Someone owes us $1 trillion for the Iraq war. I’m not suggesting that somehow a check will arrive, but we have spent $1 trillion AND cut taxes. What kind of sacrifice (read: jackassery) is this?

Keep religion and public programs separate (I know that seems obvious). This includes: abortion, gay rights, and any other hot-button issue that can be driven by religious beliefs. Make a sound argument that doesn’t involve any quotes from any religious tome and I’ll be very happy to listen. We are NOT debating religion (you can keep yours), we are debating people’s lives in the here and now. Period.

Pay for education. That $1 trillion could have built and funded something like 40,000 schools and staff. Imagine that?

Be honest and fix health care. It can be done. It will be painful. If you’re honest and let us know that it’ll be difficult yet the end result will make our children’s lives better, we’ll do it.

Don’t think we’re so stupid.

Fire people. It’s life.

Other stuff? I was listening to George Karl (coach of the NBA’s Denver Nuggets) on ESPN’s PTI podcast the other morning and he kept referring to his two star players (Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson) as ‘Melo and AI. I know that those are noms de guerre for both stars but it sounds SO cheesy coming from a head coach in a position of authority. It reminded me of a Cedric the Entertainer bit when he said some kid told him, as he was walking away, to just call him ‘Delicious’. Cedric’s reply was; “I'm a grown-ass man, dawg. I ain't gonna call no other dude ‘Delicious’”. What if that [dude] way down the street or summin? 'DELICIOUS'!!! Ay, D, hol' up!". I think Coach Karl can just call them Allen and Carmelo. ‘Melo? That really is a stupid nickname. I don’t think I would even refer to Shaq as Shaq if I were his coach. Shaquille is much better coming from what dude-in-charge. I don’t have a nickname, if you must know, because any nickname for me would be stupid. I don’t even like the NBA.

I finished East of Eden and have moved onto The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. I’m looking to move up on the hierarchy of Proulx scholars. Eden review forthcoming.

Peace.